You can try things to fix your relationship or ignite the spark of your relationship. You should agree on marriage, children, and a home base where you will settle. If one of you has a much higher sex drive than the other, it can lead to frustrations on both sides. Give it time. But if one of you is an optimistic person and the other is largely pessimistic, it can be draining for both parties. Can you imagine what would happen when there is a disagreement between two stubborn people? The next best thing is to implement everything youve learned in this article by yourself. But generally speaking, you should first try to find ways to deal with your differences before taking the nuclear option and ending your relationship. What you should try to change is the environment. If you're high strung, pairing up with another high strung person can lead to a very turbulent relationship, according to Cohen. If you prefer pristine minimalism (with no dishes in the sink, ever), it might be kind of difficult to live with someone who sees right through clutter. Two people with different love languages might struggle to feel loved by each other because of those opposing languages. This seriously backfired. The choice is yours. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. When you are dating, you scheme and dream and promise each other that when you are settled and obtain more money, you'll travel and do all these wonderful things together. Take note if your SO is quick to take everyone else's side, or seems to enjoy playing the devil's advocate. Now imagine their venn diagram. Try to introduce a variety of different activities that the two of you can do together. Copyright A Conscious Rethink. These relate to how you prefer to express your love and have others express their love for you. I have used "you live here too" many times in my marriage when my husband made comments about things needing to be done. The other day, I was contacted by a wife who was upset because, during a disagreement, her husband blurted out that he wasn't sure if they were compatible or were the same type of people anymore. For one, it helps you think clearly instead of bickering non-stop with your husband or wife. by While many people tend to show off their best selves at the start of a relationship, its important to be your genuine self as time goes on. Not sure if that helps at all. As you go on with your relationship, naturally, things between you and your man will change and develop. How much we care for others even those we dont know and how we express our emotions is a big part of who we are. If you want three kids but they dont want any. I Dont Like My Husband As A Person, How To Handle A Husband Who Wants Sex All The Time (15 Tips), 15 Signs He Regrets Cheating On You (That Cant Be Faked), Can You Have More Than One Soulmate? If youre thinking about your relationship and asking yourself, Are we too different to make it work?, there is a chance that you might be. They think up all sorts of fun and exciting outings where the two of you can enjoy each other. It's not a good feeling when they aren't, and it's likely not something you'll want to deal with long-term. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. If your partner isnt interested in making these changes, it is a sign that your relationship is not going to work out after all. What was I thinking? you might ask yourself, even though you love them dearly. "acceptedAnswer": { If youve talked about it, tried to make adjustments, and you just cant get on the same page about sex, theres a chance that your relationship may not last. But there should be at least a little bit of common ground where you can go out and spend time together doing something you both like. The similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time. Perhaps its even a cause for concern in your relationship right now. As Hattabaugh says, "No matter how money is spent, one person is always going to feel that they didn't get what they wanted and be unhappy.". If one of you is highly strung whilst the other doesnt take anything too seriously, you have to ask whether you are right for each other. So yourfocus should benot on changing or toningdown your personality or trying to change his. While it might be possible to agree to disagree, matchmakers say different political views tend to be a dealbreaker for many couples they work with. Here, experts weigh in: Compatibility is overrated. Will you both be happy with that? One partner might feel that their needs arent being met whilst the other might feel pressured to have sex more than they are comfortable with. But diet differences can be a problem for some. You are not compatible if you want to live by a minimalistic creed and theyre a serial shopaholic. If you earn five times more than them and youre exhausted all the time while they spend all day lounging and living the easy life, oh its definitely not going to be easy. There must be a time investment from both sides. It depends. Even if theyre nice or kind or stable, if you cant respect their mind to the point that you think theyre dumb, its bound to end. 1,371 Articles, By It's one thing if you like to go to bed at 10 p.m. while your partner likes to go to bed at midnight. The answer is probably not. If theyre the macho type who believes that men should be the leaders of the household, youll be miserable. Hack Spirit. Its actually cute to be very different, as long as you agree on the most important things. "How we communicate is so important to creating a great foundation in our partnerships," Mallory Love, a matchmaker & COO of Love And Matchmaking, tells Bustle. So instead of going crazy ticking all the boxes, lets just trim it down to the most essential ones. Now that weve got that out of the way, lets talk about the main thing were discussing in this articlecompatibility. Chemistry is sort of a dance of two souls and youll only know youre good together when you actually do the dance. If youre a feminist, youll be repulsed by the harmless misogynistic acts and remarks of your S.O. But keep in mind that simply being open is not the be-all-end-all. If theyve changed a lot that youre now too incompatible with, dont give up too soon. Initially, that might mean bonding over a shared love for an obscure band, favorite restaurant, or cheesy 90s sitcom. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. Her boyfriends dream, on the other hand, is to go sailing and live a nomadic life. Realize that sometimes you are going to be wrong, no matter how much you disagree. You will start to feel youre settling and you might start looking for mental stimulation elsewhere. Still not sure whether or not you and your partner are compatible? Sometimes we find ourselves dating people that we adore, or that we would love to adore, but were just not really compatible. My Husband Says That He is Not in Love With Me, But is "Trying" - Tips and Advice That May Help, My Depressed Husband Says He Doesn't Love Me - Tips and Advice That Might Help, My Husband Says That He Doesn't Know If We're Compatible Anymore - Tips and Advice That May Help, https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Leslie_Cane/228079, http://ezinearticles.com/?My-Husband-Says-That-He-Doesnt-Know-If-Were-Compatible-Anymore---Tips-and-Advice-That-May-Help&id=2909218. They make more than enough time and effort. Recognize the difference and make a decision based on what feels right for you. Dedicating times to see each other may make this problem less of an issue, but both partners need to be willing to make time for each other. Below, four red flags your partner talks to you in an unhealthy way, and how to address it with them. It's totally possible to date someone who doesn't share your religion, especially if you and your partner arent super religious. Early on, you may decide to be date someone who texts back quickly, and shows they're interested. If you want to get married but they dont, is it because they hate church weddings? Pearl Nash Otherwise, there could be a blame game waiting for you in your future, and that will not end well. As psychotherapist Joanne KetchLPC, LMFT, LCDC, NCC, previously told Bustle, "With communication and a commitment to affection and playfulness, couples can find healthy ways to bridge a gap between levels of desire.. WebTo determine if youre sexually compatible or not, consider whether youd be satisfied having the sex life your partner thinks is ideal and vice versa. The way you think is bound to be different based on the amount of education you each have had. Your professional lives will likely differ substantially, too. They can be a source of great happiness, but they can also cause a lot of pain, heartache, doubt, and anxiety. 10 Obvious Signs You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner 1. There is no way around it. Compatibility, unlike chemistry, is more tangible and measurable. Schedule time for spontaneous fun. Imagine a world where the husband and wife think and do exactly alike - it would be like two computers living together. "@context": "https://schema.org", By watching her excellent free video, youll learn how to make that happen without having to worry about your compatibility with them at all. Its not necessary to have all the same interests as your partner. With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences. What about a civil wedding, will they be okay with that? The optimist will feel like they are being dragged down by the misery of the pessimist, whilst the pessimist will see the optimist as living with their head in the clouds, not facing the grim realities of life. You exert so much mental energy ensuring that you act in certain ways and say the right things that you collapse in a heap the moment you say your goodbyes. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that an extreme saver and mega spender would have a hard time staying together in the long run. "While it can seem appealing at first, as the relationship goes on, the homebody will become frustrated that their partner always has to be on the go and can never just relax," she says. "Life is hard; youll need someone in your corner wholl roll with the punches and try to keep the mood light when the unexpected happens," marriage and family therapist Virginia Gilbert told HuffingtonPost.com. Its a mystery how it happens, really. On a superficial level, youre compatible if you agree on the things you want and on the things you dont want, whether it be in simple tastes or in what you expect of your relationship. Dont wait for things to get better. Things like one person being an adventurous eater while the other is very picky can become a bigger issue than youd think," Wexler said. This is almost the same as the long-term relationship except much harder! And its those differences that make living special. On that note, I like to believe that my partner and I rank fairly well on the compatibility front. Your shared interests dont need to be anything particularly special enjoying a nice meal at a restaurant or visiting the sights and attractions in nearby cities is enough. Some amount of arguing is considered healthy (although you shouldnt consider arguments part of the desired communication mentioned above). These people tend to be introverts by nature. If your husband constantly tells you that youre incompatible, its time to end your relationship. Its about how silly you can be together doing things that give you both big, wide-eyed smiles of enjoyment. Last Updated December 14, 2022, 2:05 pm. Also remember that sometimes it is easier to just agree to disagree instead of making every little thing into a big deal. If your partner isnt making the time for you and regularly chooses friends or hobbies over you, your relationship may be doomed. "Do not assume you can change your partner's mind over time especially if they clearly stated children are a no-go." That could be anything from dancing around the kitchen together to being able to poke fun at each other in a mutually acceptable and enjoyable way. According to Elizabeth Overstreet, relationship expert and matchmaker, no one should have to alter who they are for someone else. If youre not happy that youre only having sex once a week, please say it out loud and be firm. Fighting in a relationship is inevitable, and even the most compatible couples have their share of issues. Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like incompatibility in a relationship. If one partner works evenings at a bar or night shifts as a security guard whilst the other works during the day, you might only have 30 minutes together each day. If your partner is channeling more energy and time into someone or something other than you, it is a possible sign that they have lost interest in your relationship. Try to remember the reasons you first fell in love. Its when your values, lifestyle, and goals in life align. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If youre a guy and you just want a kind and loving housewife whose main role is to take care of the home and children, then find yourself someone whos totally happy with that setup. You dont have a lot to say to each other anymore. by My Husband Says That It's Over Between Us - What Should I Do When It's Not Over For Me? The similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time. WebMy Husband Says We Are Not Compatible | Paul Friedman - YouTube. A compatible But this could also be a good thing because if were so fixed in what we want and dont want, we might not have room for slight adjustments when someone good comes along. "text": "If there are differences which are just too big to overcome no matter how much you try, no reason is big enough to stay together even love. What about one kid? Acceptance of your differences and a willingness to work through the challenges those differences will pose is the only way to have a healthy relationship. Speaking of hugs, you also have to do the lovey-dovey stuff. Last Updated December 16, 2022, 3:53 pm, by You might lose your feelings for them and then wonder why. But generally speaking, you should first try to find ways to deal with your differences before taking the nuclear option and ending your relationship. It's all about balance, and finding someone who makes up for your deficits, and vice versa. Sometimes, having everything in common can be "too much of a good thing," Kimia Mansoor, a matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle. Different levels of empathy and emotion can also make it difficult to communicate with one another. "Couples who are on the same page with their money and finances will usually find it easier going than those with wildly divergent spending behaviors," said John M. Grohol, Psy.D., on PsychCentral.com. Or if you work at different times of day or on different days entirely, it might mean the time you can spend together is extremely limited. ", Youve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. If youre a saver and theyre a spender, it wont be easy. This isnt just one of the most obvious signs youre not compatible but its a sign that you dont even like him all that much. Eventually, I was able to not only restore my husband's love, but to save our marriage. Like other incompatibilities on this list, sooner or later resentment will creep in from both sides and that can lead to a break up. We both worked full time (I was usually putting in more hours outside of the house). Turn off all digital distractions and talk to each other! Try to educate him and be very patient. Fun and laughter are one of the key fuels that keep a relationship going, and if your relationship is lacking on that front, it will struggle in the long run. When you've found yourself a good match, you'll be able to say whatever the heck you want, and it'll be OK. needs it, like you need sex. An activities person is someone who likes to spend their free time out and about, exploring or doing new things. If you think you cant be with them long-term, try to leave. You have so many things to worry about right now rather than just each other. There are some situations where space can be a good thing. And whilst love for a partner might never be entirely unconditional, it should be as close as possible. Last Updated September 18, 2022, 7:06 am. For instance, my husband loves strawberry ice-cream, and I prefer chocolate. If you want to get out of that rut, youll need to find new interests or challenges together. And then wonder why weigh in: compatibility is overrated to save our marriage for! Be very different, as long as you agree on marriage, children, and finding who! Partner talks to you in your relationship in: compatibility is overrated household, youll need to find new or! That will not end well, on the compatibility front may be doomed who texts back quickly, and will... Instead of making every little thing into a big deal men should be as close as possible the household youll. 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You in your relationship may be doomed than just each other and regularly chooses friends or over! Or hobbies over you, your relationship relationship expert and matchmaker, no one should have to do the stuff!